This week, this boring girl is spending her time "enjoying" the company of her fellow doctoral candidates. Once a year my program requires an in-person class, where we come in from all parts of the country (and beyond) to sit face-to-face and converse. Looking forward to this week, I wondered what my fellow students would look like, act like, and offer in a new environment. Would the obnoxious members of my team be equally obnoxious in person? Would their online personalities begin to make sense in actual conversations? Well I may never know! Unfortunately, the "children" on my most recent team are not in my class this session. Okay, maybe I should say fortunately, because they were fully annoying and bickered constantly! I do, however, have a whole new group of people to observe and "enjoy."
Over the course of the first day, I watched my classmates develop in to separate and significant "characters." The interactions of these characters takes on a whole new level of comedy, and frustration, especially when you consider the context of a class of doctoral candidates! Think The Office with less time to develop and more time spent annoying each other! If you thought the Hillary Swank debate was ridiculous, try having that arguing four or five times per day! Except the topics here are far less interesting, such as what is scholarly writing or how do you define reality or what are your preconceptual distortions, and asking each other "reflective" questions (where someone asks you a question that you're not even supposed to answer, just to consider and reflect on in your own thoughts). So with all of this in mind, here are some of the characters...
The most immediate "character" I discovered was Hallelujah. Oh lordy! Yes, ma'am! That's right! Amen sister! Oh Hallelujah is our touchy-feely, super-intense, slow as syrup, loud-mouth, with nothing really to say! Oh but does she talk... The comedy here is that our professor is short, to the point, and blunt to the point of being rude. These two together is all fireworks, with a little fire and brimstone! Lord save us from Hallelujah!
Nest obvious character has to be Rico Suave... he is a school teacher, who walked in late and unprepared. He's got his shirt unbuttoned to show a little skin and, of course, his gold chain. He's smooth with the ladies, at least with the ones who don't recognize the load of crap he's feeding them! Like any teacher, he can deflect questions from the rest of the class while making sure everyone else knows what his opinion is. He's greasy with all his golden bling, and quick to speak up....and like Hallelujah, he has no idea what he's talking about. The upside here is, the class is catching on quick to his bullshit. He's lovin' me man, all it takes is me to roll my eyes and he thinks "affectionately" of his ex-wife! Smart woman, that's all I can say!
The characters just keep poppin' out, here's a few more...
Cliche- she can't let go of her cliches and gets mad when our ideas and discussion doesn't fit snugly in to her little box. She's sweet, just a little stiff.
The Foreigners - one's from Trinidad & Tobago and the other is from Thailand (via New Mexico). You can't understand most of what they are saying, but you love to hear them talk. I get so lost in their accents, that I don't hear their words anyway!
The Mama's - these two are nurturing and sweet and caring, but straightforward and will knock you on your bum if you do wrong! They will take care of you and then make sure you can take care of yourself. Gotta love them.
Super-Gay Straight Guy - he's straight, but you wonder if he's gay about every other minute! He has trendy glasses, but dresses like a dork! Totally flamboyant when he speaks, which is always okay because who doesn't love gay guys! Oh, and he's a nurse...
Super Woman - her kryptonite is her computer, which she is constantly yelling at, but damnit if she doesn't look fabulous! (BTW you are so gay if you read that as fab-U- LOUS!!!!!) She can do it all...just watch! And be prepared to look away and laugh, because she is the only one who thinks she can do it all! Still, who doesn't like super chicks?!?
The Artist - She rarely speaks, is entirely abstract, thinks power point presentations are another outlet for showing off her work, and she just doesn't seem to understand this whole business and education thing.
Last but not least, everyone's favorite....
The Canuck - OK, so we make fun of Canada a lot, well apparently there is a reason for it! This guy is off-topic and is generally lost as an accountant among teachers, nurses, educators, and administrators. The keeper of the money must keep his guard up, defending himself with true geekiness! He's simple and sweet, but when he talks...crap, he's smart?!? I know, the Canadians are always confusing....
Alright kiddies, that's enough! You know you're jealous!
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