I'm having a bit of fight with myself lately. I have severely conflicting thoughts causing arguments with myself and most likely sending mixed messages to those around me. If I can't figure out how to handle something within my own head, I have no idea how I would properly express it to other people. Either way I am feeling like a loser, a bitch, and eternally single - simultaneously. This is not fun. None of those are pleasant emotions!
Caught somewhere between needing to say something before I explode and not wanting to hurt people for (most likely) a stupid reason seems to be a frequent spot for me. For now, I'm chalking it up to my own insecurities and issues. There are bigger monsters involved, but part of growing up is tackling your own monsters without killing the villagers in the process, right? Dragon, be slayed!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
16 Year High and Maybe Hope
I am not alone! Nationally, unemployment has hit a 16-year high! I know at least 65 people who have lost their jobs in this recession and it looks like more coming down the line. And it sucks. But CNN is reporting that W may do at least one good thing before leaving office. It appears he is vying to extend unemployment benefits an additional 13 weeks. For those who have never been in the unemployment line, its a bit much to handle. When all is said and done, you are left with 6 months of moderate assistance to find yourself a job. Sounds easy right? It shouldn't take that long to land your bum in a new seat, right? Ideally, yes. But as more and more jobs drop like flies and the holidays make their way through town, hiring is extremely unlikely for the next three months. Traditionally employers do not hire between Thanksgiving and MLK Day in January. By giving an extra 13 weeks of pay, you may have some serious slackers enjoying an extended vacation. But you may also be providing just enough to get people through the hard times with hope that the markets will turn around before their money runs out. I can't say I like the guy, he certainly didn't get my vote. But if it passes, I may just appreciate him for a few weeks.
Christmas in November
You know those crazy people who just have to put their Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving? The ones who go a little hog wild about the season and have super-coordinated decorations everywhere? Well, my name's Ally and I'm a Christmas-aholic.
Since this is my first year on my own in a home I will be in throughout the holiday season (as in not going home for the holidays - they live 15 minutes away), I was a little excited about decorating my place. I have been gathering ornaments and other decorations for a little over a year. I realized about this time last year that I had no ornaments of my own. Deep into my "this is not MY house" phase. I was desperate to have a few things of my own. So I set a theme of mooses and snowmen and set to work finding my own stuff. Well after several orders from Terry's Village, pillaging Michael's and Joann's stores, and the on-going search by my mom, I now have a pretty decent collection of Christmas stuff. And I wanted to put it up!
After a little
bit of a tree fiasco, I was ready to create the first Ally's House Christmas. With a little help from Saturday Morning and a cute little elf, its Christmas at my house! But hey at least I didn't go this crazy!
So this sounds great, right? My only concern is that we are still roommate hunting. I hope don't scare off any potential roommies with the early Christmas! We have someone coming to look today, we'll see if she is as understanding!
Merry Christmas Y'All!
Since this is my first year on my own in a home I will be in throughout the holiday season (as in not going home for the holidays - they live 15 minutes away), I was a little excited about decorating my place. I have been gathering ornaments and other decorations for a little over a year. I realized about this time last year that I had no ornaments of my own. Deep into my "this is not MY house" phase. I was desperate to have a few things of my own. So I set a theme of mooses and snowmen and set to work finding my own stuff. Well after several orders from Terry's Village, pillaging Michael's and Joann's stores, and the on-going search by my mom, I now have a pretty decent collection of Christmas stuff. And I wanted to put it up!
After a little
bit of a tree fiasco, I was ready to create the first Ally's House Christmas. With a little help from Saturday Morning and a cute little elf, its Christmas at my house! But hey at least I didn't go this crazy!So this sounds great, right? My only concern is that we are still roommate hunting. I hope don't scare off any potential roommies with the early Christmas! We have someone coming to look today, we'll see if she is as understanding!
Merry Christmas Y'All!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I'm Back
I know it has been a long while since my last post, but don't worry, my life has still been boring. Nevertheless, it is time for some updates.
The Lay-Off
My last post centered around a major occurence in my life, getting laid off from my job. Someone close to me is now experiencing something similar to my weeks of hell. While this person is not losing their job, they are finding out just how it felt to know the list of who is going to be laid-off and not be able to face them. It is indescribably hard to talk to some one and look them in the eye and pretend not to know what you know. Now, you're not sentencing that person to death, but you are cutting off their livelihood. I feel bad for this person, I've been there.
On the flip side, I had to go through all of this and then lose my own job a week later. I at least knew my position was ending and had time to prepare myself. Looking back on the last two months, I thought I handled it pretty well. I had a good attitude about my future and maintained my composure at work throughout the ordeal. Only recently have I really come to terms with the situation. I knew the situation took a toll on me and was obviously difficult, but it affected me so much more. I've had several people convince me that losing my job was not my fault, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was a bad person for having this happen to me. FOr those who know me, know I take somethings pretty hard. Even when I don't know how hard I am taking it! The good news is I am starting to come out of the blue funk the situation caused and am ready to take on the next challenge, either positive or negative!
Sick For A Month
In true Ally fashion, I have been sick for mostly a month. And in keeping with recent tradition, getting sick means something happens to my car. This time around someone was actually driving my car when it was involved in an accident. Again I was no where near the vehicle when the damage occurred! This time my dad was backing my car out of my driveway when he managed to run it up the curb of the driveway and bent back a part under the rear driver's side door. At least this time it was a different spot and didn't warrant a few grand in repairs. All the same, my car was involved in the three accidents in less than a year! Arg! Anyway, I am still mildly sick and all the changes in the weather aren't helping! On the plus side, San Diego's not on fire this time due to the Santa Ana's - but good luck to Santa Barbara and LA where the fires rage on.
Roommate Situation
Always a source of interesting stories, we have another doozie on our hands. I mentioned Boards and his hooker girlfriend in an earlier post. Well they are no longer associated with this address. Thankfully, their dogs are no longer associated with this address either! After some interesting nights with Boards locked in his room drinking, his dog's non-stop whining, listening to him and his hooker argue about why he couldn't love her anymore, and Boards making himself at home in inappropriate places, we finally asked him to find a new place to call home. Well the night we gave him notice to find a new residence, he also lost his job - another lay-off victim - he went on a bender. For a guy of about 160 lbs to drink two fifths of alcohol by himself in less than two hours, well that's when you know a guy has a problem. Boards managed to get wasted, fall-down drunk right in his own front-yard. Unfortunately, he was doing it in his car, with the keys in the ignition, and the engine running. I hung out inside for an hour before I decided to check on him. I knew he would need his space to deal with the whole eviction, I dind't know about the job situation. So when I found him ish-faced, I knew I needed to get him out of the truck and into the house. I got him out of the truck and told him to hold on the side of the truck and stay still, he managed to fall down and smack his head on the pavement. Nice. Either way, I finally got him inside and had a fun evening listening to his drunk ramblings and getting him sober (not to mention the stop at Tacos del Gordo).
Its been a few weeks since he moved out. We didn't have any other crazy nights with him or his girlfriend, but Saturday Morning and I were relieved to see them go. So my mom gets a call from Boards earlier this week inquiring about his security deposit. In the coarse of conversation, he mentions that the home he moved to he is no longer associated with and that he is getting help for his "problem." Some thing happened in the few weeks since he left that opened his eyes enough to see that he's an alcoholic. We have no idea what it is, or why the sudden change, but its a good thing for him. Hopefully in rehab he'll find some peace and realize that hookers make bad girlfriends. Best of luck to Boards.
Moving on...
Now the hunt for a new roommate resumes. The job hunt continues. Life goes on...
The Lay-Off
My last post centered around a major occurence in my life, getting laid off from my job. Someone close to me is now experiencing something similar to my weeks of hell. While this person is not losing their job, they are finding out just how it felt to know the list of who is going to be laid-off and not be able to face them. It is indescribably hard to talk to some one and look them in the eye and pretend not to know what you know. Now, you're not sentencing that person to death, but you are cutting off their livelihood. I feel bad for this person, I've been there.
On the flip side, I had to go through all of this and then lose my own job a week later. I at least knew my position was ending and had time to prepare myself. Looking back on the last two months, I thought I handled it pretty well. I had a good attitude about my future and maintained my composure at work throughout the ordeal. Only recently have I really come to terms with the situation. I knew the situation took a toll on me and was obviously difficult, but it affected me so much more. I've had several people convince me that losing my job was not my fault, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was a bad person for having this happen to me. FOr those who know me, know I take somethings pretty hard. Even when I don't know how hard I am taking it! The good news is I am starting to come out of the blue funk the situation caused and am ready to take on the next challenge, either positive or negative!
Sick For A Month
In true Ally fashion, I have been sick for mostly a month. And in keeping with recent tradition, getting sick means something happens to my car. This time around someone was actually driving my car when it was involved in an accident. Again I was no where near the vehicle when the damage occurred! This time my dad was backing my car out of my driveway when he managed to run it up the curb of the driveway and bent back a part under the rear driver's side door. At least this time it was a different spot and didn't warrant a few grand in repairs. All the same, my car was involved in the three accidents in less than a year! Arg! Anyway, I am still mildly sick and all the changes in the weather aren't helping! On the plus side, San Diego's not on fire this time due to the Santa Ana's - but good luck to Santa Barbara and LA where the fires rage on.
Roommate Situation
Always a source of interesting stories, we have another doozie on our hands. I mentioned Boards and his hooker girlfriend in an earlier post. Well they are no longer associated with this address. Thankfully, their dogs are no longer associated with this address either! After some interesting nights with Boards locked in his room drinking, his dog's non-stop whining, listening to him and his hooker argue about why he couldn't love her anymore, and Boards making himself at home in inappropriate places, we finally asked him to find a new place to call home. Well the night we gave him notice to find a new residence, he also lost his job - another lay-off victim - he went on a bender. For a guy of about 160 lbs to drink two fifths of alcohol by himself in less than two hours, well that's when you know a guy has a problem. Boards managed to get wasted, fall-down drunk right in his own front-yard. Unfortunately, he was doing it in his car, with the keys in the ignition, and the engine running. I hung out inside for an hour before I decided to check on him. I knew he would need his space to deal with the whole eviction, I dind't know about the job situation. So when I found him ish-faced, I knew I needed to get him out of the truck and into the house. I got him out of the truck and told him to hold on the side of the truck and stay still, he managed to fall down and smack his head on the pavement. Nice. Either way, I finally got him inside and had a fun evening listening to his drunk ramblings and getting him sober (not to mention the stop at Tacos del Gordo).
Its been a few weeks since he moved out. We didn't have any other crazy nights with him or his girlfriend, but Saturday Morning and I were relieved to see them go. So my mom gets a call from Boards earlier this week inquiring about his security deposit. In the coarse of conversation, he mentions that the home he moved to he is no longer associated with and that he is getting help for his "problem." Some thing happened in the few weeks since he left that opened his eyes enough to see that he's an alcoholic. We have no idea what it is, or why the sudden change, but its a good thing for him. Hopefully in rehab he'll find some peace and realize that hookers make bad girlfriends. Best of luck to Boards.
Moving on...
Now the hunt for a new roommate resumes. The job hunt continues. Life goes on...
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