Annoying the Neighbors (At the Park)

One of my best friends is leaving town, moving on to bigger an better things. For him, and the village that has helped "raise" him, its the time when dreams start coming true. And what better way to celebrate the dream than with drunken kareoke in the park on a Sunday afternoon. Yes, its a little white trash, or WT, but oh did it make for an interesting afternoon!

So my friend, Aggie, has a wide array of people in his life. Here's his receipe for a good time: combine one part professional coworkers, three parts rough-and-rowdy east county boys, a few beautiful girls, a couple girls who think they're beautiful, a family as crazy as the rest of us, a kid or two, a baby that can (apparently) sleep through anything, a ton of beer, horsehoes, fishing poles, and a pinata - shake vigorously and turn it up!

While the afternoon was more than entertaining, a few highlights stick out in my mind:

• Stage Show - it is always work a second look when you get some drunk guys with a mircophone on the picnic table singing country music and waving their beers. I'm still not sure how no one ate it off the tables, I thought for sure we'd have some concrete action!
• Lap Dances - I took Saturday Morning with me to the event, the boys read this to mean fresh meat. Having never met Aggie and his friends, she had no idea what she was in for. She was subjected to a lap dance and crooning by Aggie's brother and then what can only be described as drunken humping by Aggie himself, all without ever leaving the bench! I must apologize to Saturday Morning for any back pain and bruising (and certainly the molesting) that may have come out of that one! But at least our cheeks hurt for a good reason, since we didn't stop laughing for about two hours!
• Feet in the Fountain - As with any drunken fiesta, sometimes things aren't what they seem. Apparently for a certain guy-in-mourning (fresh out of a very long relationship), the whole pee in the urinal concept got confusing. Not being a guy, I don't know how well the plumbing works when you're intoxicated, I would guess not well... What would be your first thought when you see an intoxicated guy fresh out of the bathroom trying to pull off a ballet move to put his foot into the drinking fountain? Yeah, he peed on his foot. And yeah, we laughed our butts off. Oh, and don't drink out of the fountain at the bathroom on Lake 5 at Santee Lakes!
• Manscaping - I don't want to go into too much detail here, but let's just say Aggie definitely gave us the...ahem, low down.

We managed to create quite the spectacle at the park, although the lime green bridesmaid dresses that kept walking by definitely gave us a run for our money! I think somewhere across the park someone said "I do" with the country version of "gin & juice" provided as their (unwanted) background music. But hey, what do you expect for getting married in a park in Santee?!?

Anyway, Saturday Morning managed to not run away screaming from Aggie and his friends/family. But you know, sometimes I wonder why I haven't done it myself...